Rise above conflict by seeing it from “the balcony”

Learn more about the Master of Arts in Human Security and Peacebuilding program.

It wasn’t the stage that drew Zab Vilayil to become a TEDX RRU speaker. It was the balcony.

In his recent talk, the Master of Arts in Human Security and Peacebuilding alum uses the analogy of a balcony to explain the importance of gaining perspective in conflicts. By stepping back and rising above a conflict, you can see the larger picture, says the educator and conflict early warning specialist.

Going to “the balcony” is a powerful first step for conflict resolution that provides the possibility to “dissolve our us’s and thems” in conflict – no matter how big or small, Vilayil says.

Vilayil was born in Kuwait. When the Persian Gulf War broke out in 1990, his family — along with a seven-year-old Vilayil — were forced to flee through Iraq and Jordan before eventually settling in India. Upon returning to school, he realized he had fallen behind academically. Those experiences had a profound impact on him, shaping his academic career and driving his focus on education, conflict and fragility, particularly its effects on children. 

Vilayil settled in Canada in 2001 and completed his Bachelor of Education at the University of Alberta, later completing his Master Arts in Human Security and Peacebuilding at Royal Roads.

“I took my education degree to be a teacher but it was always with the goal that that is not the end,” Vilayil says. “I was always planning to go into international development in terms of understanding what it’s like to be a child in the middle of war.”

During his time at RRU, Vilayil accepted an internship at the United Nations Development Programme in Kenya where he gained valuable experience monitoring signs of imminent conflict. Later, while studying at Harvard’s Program on Negotiation, Vilayil first came across the concept of the balcony. 

The process of stepping back and creating space between conflicting parties allows you to assess a situation to ask, “what is really going on here?” Vilayil says.

Having worked as a conflict early warning specialist in countries including Kenya, Mali and Nigeria, his work has supported organizations such as the U.S. Department of State, ECOWAS, and the United Nations. 

The current vice-principal of community and culture at Maple Ridge Christian School says he’s spent his career exploring conflicts within himself, his community and our world. And in that time, he’s learned conflict resolution isn’t necessarily the goal – conflict transformation is. 

Conflict transformation is about shifting your perspective away from a fixed pie, Vilayil explains, the idea that for one party to win, the other must lose. 

“Conflict transformation is about expanding the pie even further to try to provide solutions and options that you may not have even considered that actually benefit most of us,” he says.

And that, like TED’s tagline, has the power to change everything, Vilayil says.

“There are bridges everywhere. All you need to do is lower down the draw bridge a little and we are able to really have a conversation.”