Helping families navigate addiction with love

Learn more about the Doctor of Social Sciences at Royal Roads University.  

Max Weselowski was three days old when he attended his first AA meeting. 

Both of his parents were in recovery, and Weselowski grew up running around in the treatment centre they founded. As he got older, he began helping out, pushing a broom or cleaning the kitchen.  

He says his upbringing was a privilege.  

“I saw people at their worst, I saw them struggle, and then I saw them flourish,” says Weselowski, who is now the executive director of his late father’s centre, InnerVisions Recovery Society & Hannah House Treatment for Women.  

“At the time I didn't notice, but in hindsight I grew up in an environment where there was no stigma towards people that use substances,” he said. “Those were my people.”  

These experiences inspired Weselowski to pursue a Doctor of Social Sciences at Royal Roads University. His goal is to gain a better understanding of addiction stigma at the level of family and friends, to promote better outcomes. 

“In layman's terms, I think stigma is just giving up on people, and I don't do that. I was brought up to believe that everyone is capable of getting better.” 

Through his work at InnerVisions, Weselowski sees how stigma plays out, even with family members trying to help their loved ones.  

“Despite their best intentions, many pushed [their family members struggling with substance use] away, closed off connections, marginalized them.” 

In his upcoming doctoral research, Weselowski will interview about a dozen participants, hearing their experiences of addiction and recovery, and parsing out how their social interactions shaped the way they saw themselves, and whether it helped or hindered them in their journey.   

Weselowski aims to provide families with tangible guidance, to distinguish between actions that stigmatize and actions that set healthy boundaries.  

For instance, he recalls a family’s decision to kick their adult son out of the house, because they couldn’t stand by while he slowly killed himself with drugs and alcohol. But at the same time, the parents made clear they were always there to help, and when he was ready to make a change, they were there for him. In this way, they were able to take a hard line, but do it in a way that expressed their love, explains Weselowski.  

That son has now been sober for a couple of years. 

“When you talk to him, he admits he was frustrated, but it reminded him that he wanted to be part of the family.”  

Weselowski says his academic goal at RRU is to share these insights with a wider audience.  

“I will consider it a success if I help even one brother, sister or parent talk to their loved one in a way that helps promote recovery, rather than push them deeper into their addiction, because they feel judged.”